Musings from the Big Cheese

I've been thinking about this so called, "Bad Attitude" that we get accused of having when we stand up for ourselves.

We don't even have to shout, swear, or say how we really feel, and be told it's our bad attitude, or the illusive chip on the collective crocheting shoulder.

Funny enough, I've been told that when; I've asked for parity in pay as a woman, asked for my order in a restaurant to be as I ordered, or asked for the conditions of a contract to be held in accordance to the words agreed upon by the signing parties.

So, why is asking for what we want, and saying we will not endorse places of business that do not meet our requirements of a definition set by us having a bad attitude?

Why is being assertive such a bad thing...Why do 1500 people on our message board on Ravelry agree that they have often been treated poorly in LYSes and other venues because of their love of all that is hookable only to be told that we are delusional, to get over it and take it?

SHRUG

Here's a theory, because we have been underserved, and misrepresented for so long we're just supposed to shut up and be good little girls and boys. We are supposed to just make do with what ever offerings are scattered before us and stay quiet in our little corner of the world.

Another aspect of the theory is that people love to group in packs, and though we are a diverse pack of hooking enthusiasts we do not often group together, in fact we have not created an identity for ourselves. Many of our kind feel it's just what we do, a skill passed down generation to generation, like cooking or gardening or other domestic skills... We aren't just doing this because it's trendy, or because a super star was spotted with hook and yarn in hand. We do it because a loved one taught us. We've learned because we quit smoking and needed something do with with our hands. We crochet because we saw a magazine with a really cool pattern on the front. We crochet, it helps us get through depression, anxiety, stressful jobs, divorces, PTSD.

We crochet for many reasons, but we tend to be loners. There aren't as many groups. It doesn't mean there aren't more of us, it just means we haven't grouped en masse. For a while we didn't have to at all, big box stores catered to our basic needs. Most of us didn't have trendy or upscale yarn companies marketing to us, so we didn't know that yarn existed. Now we do, we love working with all kinds of fiber, that includes acrylic. We can make anything our imaginations dream up. Now, we voice what we want...and that's a bad attitude? Hmmmm... Let's look at it a little more...

Today I was in my local yarn store, Pinch Knitter 's and the owner who is a fabulous knitter and crocheter was showing me the hooks she had got in...the smaller bamboo ones didn't look uber functional to me, the larger hooks (H and up) were fine, but she had a sample she wanted me to see if I liked. I lit up like it was Christmas...She knows I'll buy those. I offered to make crochet samples, and she is going to think about taking me up on the offer, after all she can crochet too...

Then as we discussed things, I said that she was definately on the crochet friendly list, because though she prefers knitting (nothing wrong with that at all) she is accomodating to crocheters. Then she said, "But you're the only one!" and the woman sitting behind me watching her friend learn to knit piped up and said, "Hey, I'm a crocheter"...and I laughed, "See, we're just afraid to come out of the closet..."

I cannot be the only one in the Camano Island-Stanwood area who crochets, that would be impossible...

Chip on our shoulder? Angry? Nasty? Bitchy? No. Just tired of being treated poorly and ever so happy when we are not.

Asking for what you want, being specific, and holding to it, is not a bad thing. Being assertive is not a bad thing. In fact how many of us as women (and some men too) have been taught to be good little girls (and boys), don't ask and we'll get what some authority decides we get...

Well, we're hookers, so defacto we can't be good little girls (and boys)...We're going ask for what we want, and if we don't get it, we'll go where we can get it...

That's not nasty, mean or rude...That's business 101.